有时候会想，干吗总要与别人比？真的那么差吗？如果真的不能接受，那就算了啦。

我想为自己而活。

无需勉强，反正还有选择的自由。

a tiring week where it seems i'm never home.

had an easy test today, hopefully the next 3 will be the same..

sending mindan off for her exchange to vienna tomorrow night. it'll be half a yr before i see her again..and so it seems that we're really graduating soon and stepping into the workforce. my IA is in year 3 sem 2, which will be next Jan. and then i understand why my international friends don't want to be in ABP. hahah

i've missed u, welcome back.

and somehow i am too tired to speak, so let me be. happiness can be such a fleeting feeling.

messages like the one last night is enough to make me happy for a long time. =)

like my N80!!! yay!!

celebrating gen's birthday even before ql's cause there'll be too little time and too many tests to study for next weekend.

lalalala..in a happy mood..

Bu fang xin

today's my off day, and i did absolutely nothing. cant really be bothered when there is a much better thing to do, like slacking. haha

got a new hp! N80!! it's a nice hp with nice functions, but it's a bit big, and i haven't figured how to use it..

back to school tomorrow.. and so my life goes on..

9am for mon, wed, fri..

i have only heard you say you love me a few times. and sometimes i wished you could say it more often. but i also know that i treasure those 3 words more because they fall so seldom from your lips.

and of course, i know that you love me, so words are really superfluous. contradicting myself, sometimes i just want to hear those words to know i am your girl.

take good care people!!

sometimes you want a hug, and you cant have one. but when you do, that hug somehow becomes redundant. cause it didn't come at the right time, the time when you need it. so it's just like it never came at all.

maybe i've become emotionally needy, and so i lapse into grouchiness easily. can you see the link?

the week's still ahead. life doesn't get better, no matter what LG says.

nothing in my life that seems blog-worthy nowadays. as a result, the blog is empty.

my mother brought back "my girl" vcd. trying to hai wo.

quiz tomorrow, quiz again on wed. life's kinda meaningless.

i snapped.. cause i dislike your procrastination.
i snapped.. cause i dislike your indecisiveness (i don't care if there's no such word.)
i snapped.. cause i'm simply irritated.

the good thing is, you will be safe if you don't get on my nerves. the bad news is, you won't know what will set me off.

good luck to you, the unfortunate soul who dares to come near.

i know now why i stopped reading newspapers, except the comics. cause i stopped caring. apathetic.

i admitted today that my passion for studying has diminished by a rather astounding amount. not to say i had a lot of enthusiasm in the first place, but cause i was always somewhat rewarded with good results. and now, it's not so. i know what i should do, cause it's the thing i must do. which is to put in more effort and study harder. but at this point in my life, i don't really think studies is that important. but can i do anything about it? no.

perhaps there is something overshadowing the priority of studies in my life. but i cant blame anything else. the effort i put in is only controlled by me. perhaps i was weak in not resisting.

i now know why women may aspire to be housewives. in the domestic realm, the most horrible thing you have to face is probably not half as intimidating as those you are forced to tackle in the workplace. maybe cause i don't have a man who is willing to provide for me, that's why i have no other choice but to thicken my skin and go out to fight.

for it's the only way of life, the only way to survive.

the sun finally showed its bright face today. the weather was super hot. but it feels like the humidity still hangs in the air, damp and sticky.

saw a man sneak his hand into a lady's bag to steal something while on the escalator in the mrt station. aghast. not in time to stop him, but the sheer audacity shocks me.

don't like tech comm. and what's worse, with the most disliked guy of the cohort in the same tutorial class.

changi village hawker centre closed for cleaning, and i thought it daobi. haha

when a couple is together, usually the girl would want the guy to lavish more money on her. but i now see girlfriends who rather their boyfriends save money. i guess these are the couples already seriously contemplating marriage and a life together. =)

only 3 cores, life shouldn't be too hard right?

late start for lessons tomorrow.. a short yay!

never thought i had to work part time during the semester. but i had to help. and every time i do it, i will feel cheated at the end of it. and every time i vow never to do it again, i have to eat my words. grr but she's still my mom.

there shall be a chalet for chinese new year celebrations from the 19th to 21st feb. place: punggol point chalet, which is even further away from civilisation than my house already is. haha i'm getting the 2b people over for steamboat. and there is finally a good thing to look forward to.

rain hasn't stopped for 3 days now. perpetually feeling cold. what with tutorials not making sense, there is the feeling of stupidity too. i just want to curl up and sleep.

in the moment you smiled, the stone sitting on my heart lifted, and i smiled too. in the next moment, you stopped smiling, and i just couldn't control my tears. for knowing we set out in the beginning to be happy, and now we aren't. for knowing that much of what is causing our unhappiness is me. i may talk a lot about breaking up, but i don't want to leave your side. for loving you, i try so hard to make things work. but i can't commit to your needs while neglecting other aspects of my life.

darling, forgive me.

get lost in your eyes.
melt in your smile.
feel safe in your arms.
love you, pure and simple.

that's what i want in a relationship. never having to look elsewhere again.

p.s. don't we all?

the rain outside my window has not stopped for single moment today. making me wanna curl up in the snug comfort of my bed. and so tomorrow is friday. school weeks pass so fast, and quizzes begin.

sleep tight!

do you love me more than you did them? will you love me as you will never love anyone like that again?

in love, we are all selfish. we don't want to share, and we want nothing that will taint the purity of our love.

bought a new chair! so now i'm functioning well again.. haha

bought some other stuff, but mostly they can be charged to my mom's account, thank god. haha but to wait for her funds to reach my account, i'll have to pay a levy for going below posb's stipulated minimum amount. hmm

quite a happy day, cause i bought the things i wanted to buy so desperately, and did some unexpected shopping. =)

slp tight people!

fell off my chair when it crashed. now i cant function properly without my chair.

just found out something disgusting about a module, so i'm dropping it. but there's no alternative. shit. plan timetable also no use.

lots of stuff to print, to read, to know.

i keep procrastinating the upload of pictures. so does joyce. haha

my frustration with school has somewhat subsided over the night. but i'm still not looking forward to 17 weeks of torture. beginning to question, have i really once thought that studying was something enjoyable?

stare at my timetable, and am deeply disgusted. i dont like it. how to even pretend to be happy like that?

i predict my grouchiness this semester will shoot through the roof

i am definitely not feeling enthusiastic about the starting semester. and it doesn't help that i just realised my timetable was changed. to add insult to injury, there are professors and tutors out there who use a fake cheerful tone. as if studying is enjoyable.

i'm extremely cranky, hopefully a good night's rest can do wonders. for i feel super un-rested. just one day away from monday.

edventure- hahaha. so un-funny play of words.

i keep thinking that maybe i shouldn't have agreed in the first place, now i have no 余地 to say no. and just yesterday, everything felt so in place.

group photo! the fuzzy image is of yisheng just joining us.. =p nice timing
joce's ice cream!
3 of the guys talking cock at 85 market..they are so lame! =p 

my lunch! peri peri prawns with rice
3 of the guys, taiman zongyue mingrui (whom we haven't seen in a long while!)
3 of the earlier girls.. leen n yinjie joined after that
we surprised jocelyn with chocolate ice-cream! 

wanted to do a photo blog, of all the people i miss, love, and shared great times with. but i don't have the photos of some of them.

即使过了很多年，那些曾经令人感动的事情，还是会牵起心中一丝感谢。感谢即使人事已非，那段回忆我们曾一起拥有。

你总是能让我感性。

my nephew is in hospital! such a poor thing, was suspected of HFMD not long back, now he's warded for some problem with his blood. hope everything's fine!

gen's performance tomorrow, 2b outing on sat, so today is a rare chance to be at home, but maybe later i'll go visit little ian.

sometimes i just want to linger for a moment longer...

tight on cash lately. want more rest. i am dissatisfied with life. haha but i should stop grumbling, cause at least, it's still holidays.

spent an entire day outside today, just catching up on long over due maintenance work. like facial, and hair trimming. haha

meeting evan today.. city hall suddenly sounds very central and not east at all. hmm

i want to jump in puddles of water, holding your hand..

i want to blog the stuff i want. i want to be selfish and self centred, at least in this little space on the web. i don't want to always have to take people's reactions into considerations. i don't have to answer to anybody for what i write here. i just want to let out all that i'm feeling at this moment.

exasperated.

i just wanna thank you for being here, all this while, all throughout this year.

for knowing the words in my heart when i can't be persuaded to say them.

for not telling me often enough that you love me, but constantly showing me that you do.

i love you darling.